*walks onto a crime scene*
swiggity swag who’s in the bag
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
Signal boost
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
there are reasons you don’t do the harlem shake
This is the only good harlem shake video on the internet
Admit it. You need me. We’re connected!
i was looking through all of my old documents on my computer and i stumbled across a really long one with 25 pages and i read the wHOLE THING and when i got to the very end
i saw this
so i got excited and looked underneath my mattress but instead i found this
why
wow past you was a punk
Now That’s What I Call Tumblr
when you spell restaurant right on the first try
wow I’ve never seen a bird drink before
that’s a snake
i dont think people understand how lonely i am on facebook
like everyone hates me seriosly
- Teacher: Do you have your homework?
- Me: *adopts Simon Cowell voice* it's a no from me.
hiiii!! my name’s Earth. i’m 4.54 billion years young. i like emo bands and music like my chemical romance. invader zim is my fav tv show. i’m soooo~~~ random!!! haha!! *spontaneous volcanic eruption kills millions*
has anyone ever finished a game of monopoly
i now know why
